Oh what a sad attitude I have! This is how I felt before I heard God whisper through those melodies on my laptop. A soft "carry me on your back through the storm, Lord," broke my heart and my attitude as I hopelessly wondered why quadratic functions existed to torture me. Then I remembered that I had prayed for God to test me, to let me "prove" that I could take anything. I wish I understood God's faithfulness in answering prayers like this. But I am so very thankful that this testing arrived according to God's answer.
This overwhelmed attitude is so tempting because a crazy busy schedule was suddenly implemented in my life. A new job, tests and essays, not to mention music and church all flooded my life with expectations that I felt I certainly could not meet. But how sad is it for me to worry when the God I serve clearly says to "be anxious for nothing" (Philippians 4:6)? Well I had to re-learn an important lesson.
A few years ago on a missions trip to Honduras I learned the meaning of "be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). Everyday I've had to apply that, whether or not I've chosen to. The last couple of days I've been attempting to apply this with my own power. I find myself saying, "Lord, I'm being still; I'm knowing that you are God"! And each time I've been more and more overwhelmed with the amount of tasks I have to complete. God keeps saying, "Let go... Let go, my child." And I keep replying, "I am, aren't I"? Oh how finite and weak we humans are! Especially me!
Yesterday I read a devotional from Warren Wiersbe about the very subject of being still before God. He says that the phrase "be still" literally means, "take your hands off." That was an ouch moment for me. I kept hanging on and hanging on to the insane schedule that I suddenly had thrust upon me; I kept wondering if it was humanly possible to do so many things. I was mostly whining though. I don't think there will be any whiners in God's kingdom. He reminded me of his promise in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." If only I could remember and apply this all the time! But that's why his grace is so beautiful, because in my insufficiency he is perfectly sufficient. He is all I need; He is all I want; He is everything.
Even now I cannot even think of anything else to write because God's supernatural peace has flooded my once worried night. Like the light chases away the darkness, his love chased away my worries. I am content with my God; his banner over me is love.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:4-7
Though the butterfly doesn't know where the wind will take her, she flies anyway. ♥
No comments:
Post a Comment